James St Journal September

This story was initially pitched as advice to fathers, both close to home and further afield, from fathers right here on James St. However, it is upon reflection that the words of wisdom shared by the members of our community below serve, in actual fact, as sage advice for any type of person.

From Atlas Sorronda’s point about striking a balance between commitment and change to Mike Makras’ reminder to not lose sight of the everyday moments, these dads are telling us how to become the best versions of ourselves. And isn’t that what a father ultimately is? A mentor – someone that you can look up to but that also have your best interest in mind.

So, whether you’re a father yourself, have a child of your own, or are just looking to find comfort in the shared experience of being a role model, confidant or guiding figure, read on to see what advice these James St fathers are giving out.

Dom Wing, Cru Bar + Cellar
Father’s Day from my perspective is not a day to be thanked  – rather, I consider it a day to say thank you to your children for allowing you to bring them into this beautiful world. For me, being a father is a privilege and an honour, not a right.

I am now a doting grandfather, and I am extremely proud of what my children have achieved in their lives. There is no secret, it comes down to common sense – you are not the biggest influence in their formative years, that will come later. What is important in those years is surrounding your children with a loving and caring family unit and teaching them to be careful of the company they keep –  show them that good things by association happen to good people and there is no room or time in this fast-paced world for negative influences.

Let them find their way. Yes, there are times to be firm with your views, but trust that you have done enough to guide them. Ultimately, let them make their own decisions. There are always challenging years which can be a wild ride – accept and understand that comparatively speaking you were probably cut from the same cloth as a teenager. Don’t give up on them and conclude every conversation, heated or calm, with “I love you!” They will get there.

Atlas Sorronda, Gail Sorronda
With our daughter (8) we’ve always tried to expose her to as much as possible and then see what interests stick. But I do sometimes question, is she enjoying an activity, or am I pressuring her, projecting my own anxieties or regrets? Always be there to listen, encourage them and teach them the importance of commitment but be open to change. I remember age 5 pushing her to learn to surf. She started to not enjoy the ocean. And then months later she woke up and said, “I’m ready to stand up daddy.” It’s now one of the most beautiful things we share together.

Mike Makras, Makras Optical
Being a father to two daughters, now 21 and 24, has been one of life’s greatest teachers – about life, but also about myself.

Here are 3 things (amongst many more) I have learned:

1. Hold close the small, everyday moments as they grow up because they're the ones you’ll miss later—like the scent of their hair, the squeeze of their hugs, holding their hand. Cheesy but true
2. Never forget that your job is to give them wings and teach them to fly from early on and forever
3. And above all, never forget how lucky you are to be a dad, it’s a huge gift

Theo Kampolis, St Albans (Hellenika, SK Steak & Oyster, Sunshine and Sushi Room)
One of the most important things I’ve learnt from being the father of my now 13-year-old child is active listening. If a child is saying something, they want to be understood. And so, it is our job as parents to do our very best to understand them.

Always try and understand their perspective, especially without being judgemental or undermining them. Don’t compare their experiences to your own - your child is their own unique person, with their own feelings and experiences. A “back in my day” just won’t cut it and makes them feel like you’re not actually listening to them.